


Love Me Harder

by loochskywalker



Series: Freddie/Connor getting down [4]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Kink Exploration, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Oral Sex, Size Difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 03:36:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11176179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loochskywalker/pseuds/loochskywalker
Summary: “It’s just...fun” Freddie had said eventually, “It’s not anything I need or miss or...”“You don’t miss it?” Connor remembered not believing it.“Okay well...not enough to change up what we have.”





	Love Me Harder

**Author's Note:**

> I have been in a rut lately so I'm posting this hoping other things will come along ! Thanks to the awesome people that read it over for me and everyone who told me to just finish it lmao. Basically like everything else in this series it exists in the same universe but it is in no order and none of them previous ones don't need to be read to understand what's going on. however. if you want to read the other ones it's pretty much just porn of these two.

Only a few weeks into them dating Connor had found the cuffs under Freddie’s bed. He wasn’t _snooping_ necessarily, just changing in the bedroom when sleek leather caught his eye. When you reflexively go to grab something you don’t stop to think ‘oh this isn’t my room or my apartment maybe I shouldn’t just go grabbing things so Connor doesn’t even consider that it’s a bad idea until he’s already staring at them.

And... _oh_. Because they’re not the stupid prop ones people give each other at bachelorette parties or that like, cops use. They’re thick leather, lined on the inside, with buckles on the outside. They’re the kind made to hold you in place for hours. Connor isn’t like a virgin or anything but he’s never seen anything like that in real life and he suddenly feels a little in over his head.

He doesn’t tell Freddie because he doesn’t know how to tell his new boyfriend that he was rifling around under his bed. It doesn’t mean Connor can stop thinking about it though, there’s just...so much about it. Connor is pretty sure Freddie isn’t picking up random people and cuffing them to his bed mostly because Connor is around Freddie’s bed as much as he is. So it means that Freddie has had these for a while and has at least used them on other people -- or that other people have used them on him.

Connor doesn’t know what it all really means but it’s definite proof that Freddie knows more about... _stuff_ than Connor does. Not that it’s something to brag about, ‘vanilla’ is probably the best word to use for Connor’s sex life pre-Freddie.

And that’s basically how their relationship starts. Connor does eventually talk to Freddie about the cuffs and Freddie leads him to his closet where he shows Connor a box of... _stuff_. It wasn’t like...that extensive of a collection but it was stuff Connor didn’t actually think people had in real life. He can still so clearly remember the way his face warmed when he rifled through it, Freddie kneeling next to him explaining what each thing is.

“It’s just...fun” Freddie had said eventually, “It’s not anything I need or miss or...”

“You don’t miss it?” Connor remembered not believing it.

“Okay well...not enough to change up what we have.” It was painfully honest and kind of heavy and awkward. It wasn’t the first time they talked about feelings but it was still pretty real. Like the sex they were having was good, the easy way they hung out was good, but still admitting that it was all the other really wanted was really close to home.

Connor thought about that box and those cuffs for a few days afterwards, he’s hyper aware of it. When they get ready in the morning he’ll shoot the closet knowing looks like it’s judging him or something. Which is just...it’s a lot. It makes him feel watched and caught like now he’s obsessed with it.

Freddie will fuck into him, put one of Connor’s legs over his shoulder to change the angle, really get Connor good and he’ll lock up, moaning for Freddie. And then he’ll stop and think what would happen if his arms were tied to the headboard, or a gag stopped him from saying anything at all. What if Freddie could move him around anyway he wanted, use Connor to get himself off, make Connor beg for it? Would Freddie want to? Has he thought about it? It all races through his head and it’s _amazing_ because just thinking about it gets Connor off so hard but it also kind of sucks because he’ll be at practice and get red just watching Freddie play tackle one of the defensemen. Does he think about tying up other people to? Connor kind of hopes not.

And that’s the thing right? Because you don't’ just have that stuff if you’ve never used it before. Connor has always pictured he’d be the one tied up, or gagged, or whipped, or _whatever_ . But what if Freddie likes it when they’re used on him instead? Could Connor do that? If he can’t is that a deal breaker? Freddie said it wasn’t but what if...what if it becomes one? But even if that’s not how it goes what if Connor _thinks_ he can deal with being tied up, but then when he is he totally freaks out? Is _that_ a deal breaker?

He’d never been that insecure about sex this good before.

Eventually he can’t take it anymore, says he wants to try some of the stuff out. When he told Freddie this, Freddie kept his face carefully neutral and nodded before leading Connor back to the closet and opening it up. He told Connor to pick something out, whatever it was that he wanted and then they’d talk about it.

Connor didn’t even have to think about it, just grabbed the cuffs and dumped them on the bed.

“Okay,” Freddie said, “What do you want to do with them?” The question was careful, with well timed pauses and clear pronunciation.

“You don’t have to be nervous!” Connor said almost hysterically. Freaking out was supposed to be his job here, Freddie was the one who knew what was going on. If Freddie didn’t know they were in trouble.

“I’m not,” Freddie said, “I just want to make sure this is something you want to do and not something you think you have to do.”

“Have you thought about it?”

“What?”

“Using...this stuff...with me...or whatever.” Connor cringed when he got the words out, not meaning to sound as self conscious as it did. He knows Freddie is into him, that he thinks Connor is the bee's knees, especially in bed, but this is all new to him. Maybe Connor is just a vanilla fuck for Freddie and that’s fine because Freddie is still _his_ . He just, thinks maybe, knowing Fredde kind of, has _fantasies_ that revolve around him, would be a lot in a really good way.

“Or whatever,” Freddie said in that same measured voice, “yeah.”

“You just never brought it up,”

“Neither did you, until now.”

“Yeah well,”

“I know” Freddie took a deep breath then, “I’ve thought about it, but.” he stopped again, “I just need to know this is something you want for you, not for me. I don’t want to push you.”

Connor nodded and reached down to pick up the cuffs again. They feel nice and sturdy and soft on the insides. He wants to slip his hands in and test them out, feel what the restriction really is like.

“I can’t promise that I’ll be into it, like, I’ve never done this kind of thing before, with anyone. But. I can’t stop thinking about it? Is that weird? I don’t know. But it’s been going through my head a lot lately and I’d like to try? With you? If that’s what you want.” Connor frowned down at the cuffs, “It would be nice to know if you think about tying me up and fucking me though.”

Freddie laughed lightly and reached over grabbing the cuffs from Connor’s hand, “here sit down.”

Connor sat on the edge of the bed without even thinking of it. He usually did what Freddie told him to, whether it was to set the table for dinner or to hurry his ass up because Freddie was going to be leaving for practice without him. But it felt different then, Connor was hyper-aware of what doing what he was told meant.

Freddie didn’t even really seem to notice at the time, just asked for Connor to put his hands out. So Connor did, offering them up to him.

“I’m just going to put them on, okay, if you want them off tell me and I’ll let you go right away. We’re just going to test it out for now.”

Connor nodded.

Freddie took the cuffs and unbuckled one, slipping it around Connor’s wrist and slowly working to close it. Before he moved onto the second one he slipped his finger between Connor’s wrist and the soft lined inside. His finger moved around his wrist, not just testing for tightness, also tracing along the edges like he was looking for anything that could hurt Connor. When he was done with his inspection he tightened the cuff a little bit more before moving to do the same with the next one.

When he finally linked them together Connor’s first instinct is to pull at them, so he did. He could feel Freddie’s eyes on him as he tests the limits of the cuffs. And it’s...the whole thing was _a lot_. They were strong and restrictive and Connor couldn’t move anywhere the cuffs wouldn’t let him move.

“Okay” Connor finally said, his heart rate spiking, “Yeah it’s…” he stopped.

“Bad? Do you want me to take them off.”

Connor jerked his arms away when Freddie reached for the buckle and looked up to glare at him.

“No” he said, “they’re good, it’s fine,”

Freddie’s look of alarm had turned to an amused smile at that and he nodded.

“It’s good?” He asked a few beats later, after watching Connor test the strength of them for a little longer.

Connor nodded.

“Here,” Freddie said putting one of his knees on the bed and grabbing Connor’s shoulder to twist him.

Connor tried to pull his wrists away again when Freddie reached for them but he made a disapproving noise and Connor stopped. He didn’t think Freddie was trying to take them away anymore, so it’s probably fine that he listened so easily.

Freddie did undo them but just to manipulate Connor’s arms so they were behind his back where he could secure them back together and watch Connor struggle with them that way. It felt different the first time the cuffs were on behind him. He couldn’t move as much, he was a lot more vulnerable with his hands behind him, and it made his face heat up just thinking about how at Freddie’s mercy he was in that moment.

“Okay. um. Yeah.” Connor said, “is this uh? Can we do this now?”

Freddie laughed and settled so he was sitting behind Connor, and ran his hands along Connor’s shoulders.

“You wanted to know if I thought about this.”

“Yeah,”

“Well, with these in particular,” He paused so he could tug at the cuffs for Connor to feel it, feel the way it pulled on his arms just a little, “I thought about tying you to my headboard and not letting you leave until I was done with you.”

Connor’s breath hitched at that and he tried to strain forward without being too obvious.

“You’re a brat sometimes and you know I love that, but, I always thought about what it’d be like if you couldn’t be a brat, if you had to take what I wanted to give you. Just, pressing into you until you're desperate for it, make you beg because you _have_ to, because I won’t do anything until you do.” Freddie leaned forward then to press a soft, teasing kiss to the base of Connor’s neck, making him shiver and tip his head forward, submissive.

“So you want that huh?” Freddie had laughed that part, “have I been holding out on you?”

Connor couldn’t do anything but try to keep his breathing even as the hands Freddie was using to rub at his shoulders move down to his chest, rubbing along his collarbone and across the tops of his pecs. He’s not usually sensitive there but his shirt feels rough and it feels like little sparks all along his skin. His body caved away from Freddie’s hands, so he was pushed back against Freddie’s chest, stuck against him.

“Tell me,” Freddie said, “what were you thinking about.”

It was hard to think past the way Connor’s hands were stuck, and the feeling of Freddie moving lower on his chest, his fingers brushing lower, one of them catching a nipple. Connor gasped and feels his chest push forward before collapsing back again like he can’t fucking make up his mind. And he _can’t_ . God. He’s never felt like being easy was something humiliating before but now he can’t help but think that Freddie could do literally fucking anything to him in the whole world and all he would do is beg for more. How any second he could pull away and ask Freddie to stop, say he didn’t want to do this, but he couldn't because he didn’t _want_ to. He wanted nothing more than to just be easy for Freddie.

“Connor” Freddie said, his voice a little more solid but not harsh or angry.

“I just,” But Connor couldn’t get anymore out because Freddie stopped moving his hands which distracted Connor for a different reason, why did he stop?

“What was that,” Freddie asked.

“When...when we would,” Connor swallowed, “you’re so big and I would just...I would do anything.”

“Anything?”

“Yes, Freddie, I…”

“What?”

“I want you to use me,” It hung in the air between them and it felt like a lot for Connor. Maybe it was kind of like when Freddie said he didn’t want to stop doing what they were doing before. It was a simple sentence but it meant so much more. He wanted Freddie to want him. He wanted Freddie to want _only_ him. He wanted Freddie to want him so bad he couldn’t help himself around Connor. But mostly, it said he trusted Freddie. He trusted Freddie so deeply that he knew whatever Freddie had in store for him he wouldn’t just be fine with, he’d _love_. And that was the hardest part about all of this. Because it wasn't just kinky sex or a toy box in the closet. It was love and that made Connor feel choked up in a not-so-sexy way.

“Okay, baby” Freddie said after letting the words settle a bit, “you know i’ll take good care of you, don’t you?”

Connor nodded hard, because that was one thing he was certain of.

“Good.”

Freddie moved his hands down further and traced the soft skin below Connor’s shirt before tugging it up a little. Connor couldn’t help the way his breathing got shallower, even as he looked down to track Freddie’s hand and noticed the way his chest would shudder with each breath.

He was stuck, Freddie was pressed all against his back, his arms caught between them. He couldn’t...he couldn’t do _anything_. But he doesn’t want to do anything just wants to see what Freddie will do. He’s whimpering and that should be embarrassing but he feels so overwhelmed he doesn’t know how to stop.

One of Freddie’s hands moved up then, under his shirt and stroking the skin of Connor’s stomach and up to his chest. His hands are so big they feel like they’ll encompass everything.

The petting motions feel...different. Freddie has Connor right where he wants him and is just...touching him however he wants. It makes Connor want to arch into it, somehow get control back, make it seem like he’s not just passive. When he goes to do it though, Freddie’s arms stiffen and he pushes against Connor’s middle holding him tight to Freddie’s chest. Connor feels his fists clench. Freddie is so much larger than him, with what feels like twice the upper body strength.

Connor’s stuck.

“Stay put.” Freddie says, before moving his hand to grab the hem of Connor’s shirt and pull up. It’s a little rough but Freddie’s hands move expertly so that it rolls up to his shoulders and stays put.

Connor’s breathing gets more shallow when Freddie runs his hand back down his chest and his fingers play along the thin skin right above his shorts.

“Please,” Connor whispered as he watched Freddie’s hands stroke along his stomach but not dip further down. He was already so hard in anticipation just, needed Freddie to grab him, _touch_ him. And he couldn’t...he couldn’t _make_ Freddie touch him, couldn’t grab him and tempt him. All he could do was let out a broken please and _hope_ Freddie would give him what he wanted.

“Hmm,” Is all Freddie says at first, before running his hand back up a little, then back down. Connor shivered and pressed closer to Freddie, arching his neck back just a little. He feels restless and overcome and just.

“ _Please_ ,” Connor tries again, more strength in his voice.

Freddie laughs lightly at that, “Maybe I should have gagged you too.”

Connor flushed hot at that and let out a small whine.

“Aw,” Freddie says, voice still doused in amusement, “Am I being mean to you?”

It’s teasing but Connor can’t help but whine out a “yes.”

It makes Freddie laugh for real that time, bringing his hand up and pinching Connor’s nipple.

“Ah.” Connor tries to arch away from it but it just pulls, sending a shock of pain up his spine that leaves him more breathless than before.

“Really,” Freddie says, “A boy like you should be with some good canadian kid, all polite and gentle” he lets go of Connor’s nipple to swipe at it with his thumb before running his hand across Connor’s chest so he’s holding him tight like a seatbelt. “But instead you’re here, begging me to tie you up and use you. What would Canada say?”

“Fuck, off” Connor tried.

That just made Freddie laugh again. And why shouldn’t he? Connor can feel the way Freddie is pushing to get under his skin, humiliating him and chirping him in the same breath. It leaves Connor feeling off kilter. In the locker room he could have brushed off the Canada comment, shoot something back. But when it’s paired with Freddie’s hands running all over his body and him saying the dirtiest shit, Connor couldn’t even think hard enough to register it as chirping.

God Freddie is leaving him stupid and taunting him for it. And Connor is fucking eating it up.

“Stand up,” Freddie says.

It takes more effort than it probably should for Connor to lean forward and get up on his shaky legs but Freddie doesn’t say anything, just stays sitting behind him.

“I didn’t tell you to turn around,” Freddie says when Connor goes to do just that, “stay facing the wall. Don’t you want to be good for me?”

“I’m always good for you,” Connor says.

“I’ll decide that,” Freddie stands up behind him and Connor feels a shiver up his neck at just the thought of knowing Freddie was behind him. “Should have taken your shirt off first” Freddie mumbled, his finger hooking around the chain keeping the cuffs together and tugging on them lightly.

“This is fine,” Connor tells him.

“Yeah,” Freddie says, “here,” he grabs Connor’s shirt and pulls it up so Connor can duck his head under and it's hooked around the back of his neck, still on his shoulders. “That’s the best we can do for now,” he says.

There’s a pause where Connor looks down, his chest and body bare.

“You still doing good?” Freddie asks.

“Yeah,” Connor says, “very good,” he adds just in case Freddie needs the reassurance.

Freddie presses a kiss to the back of his neck, “Good.” he sits down then and grabs Connor’s hips tugging him back insistently so Connor is closer to him.

He flushes when Freddie starts to pull his shorts down. Not that Freddie hasn't seen it all before but...he’s definitely getting a front row seat that’s for sure. Freddie doesn’t say anything though, not about how pale Connor is or how he can see Connor’s freckles. But he does get his leg in between Connors and uses it to nudge his legs so they’re spread, just a little.

“Freddie…”

“Shh,” Freddie cuts him off. He places a hand on the inside of Connor’s thigh and drags it up between his legs. Connor’s breath hitches, standing there completely on display for him and Freddie’s just petting him slowly.

There’s no way Freddie can’t tell either, he’s shaking and making soft noises that are completely out of his control and he just...keeps going.  His hand moves up, it’s soft but unrelenting and Connor let’s out a small whimper when he feels Freddie spread him open and run his fingers along his hole.

“God,” Connor mutters into his shoulder, rubbing the side of his jaw along his shoulder. Freddie doesn’t press just runs his finger around it before he leans forward and presses a kiss at the base of Connor back, standing up again.

He walks around Connor and, without even looking him in the eye, puts his hand on Connor’s shoulder near his neck. Connor stares up at him and can feel how wide his eyes are, how just, awestruck he must look. But Freddie just shoves him backwards, and Connor loses his footing, crashing to the bed but he thinks that’s what Freddie was aiming for.

It’s uncomfortable to have his arms under him like that, like he’s a floundering fish. He feels like he looks stupid but Freddie gets on top of him before he can fully resettle himself. He kisses Connor, holding him close and leaving him feeling like he’s drowning.

“God I want to fuck you so bad” Freddie groans pulling back, “look at you, you’re perfect.”

Connor flushes at Freddie’s words, wants to curl towards him and bury his face in his neck but Freddie doesn’t let him.

“Let’s get you off now, huh,” Freddie leans forward and kisses him again, once, before straddling Connor’s body. Connor doesn’t know what to expect and when Freddie moves down his body and leans down he feels his throat constrict a little, his chest tighten. He doesn’t know what to make of it until Freddie’s lips press to his hip, completely bypassing his dick.

The sob catches him off guard but it releases the tension almost immediately.

Freddie pulls back and stares up at him, alarmed, “Connor?”

“I’m okay!” Connor said, his voice trembling a little, “I promise.”

“We can stop,”

“No, no please!” panic rises in his throat at the thought of Freddie pulling away from him, taking the cuffs off. He feels safe under Freddie with his arms tied behind him and he really, really, doesn’t want Freddie to stop. He doesn’t want Freddie to take it away. He’ll do anything. He’ll be so good.

“Okay, okay” Freddie’s voice is soft, he slings his arm along Connor’s hips and leans down again, finally, _finally_ , getting his mouth on Connor’s dick.

He wishes he lasted longer, doesn’t usually have stamina problems. But Freddie isn’t screwing around anymore, suction tight and hot, and his mouth so wet. It feels devastating, somehow more so than it has had before. Connor can’t stop squirming under Freddie’s mouth no matter how hard he tries to stop. He can’t...he can’t focus on anything but Freddie, everything else melting away.

Connor finally cums when Freddie takes him deep in his throat, doesn’t even think to warn him.

The next thing he knows Freddie is kissing him again, his thumbs pressing along Connor’s cheekbones. He’s making calming noises and pressed all along Connor’s front. Soon after he becomes aware of Freddie he realizes he’s crying, or that he was crying, he can feel the tears on his face and the way his eyes burn.

“I’m okay,” Connor finally says, “i’m fine,” his own voice soft like Freddie’s the one freaking out.

Freddie pulls back to look down at him, “I’ll take them off,” he says.

Connor stiffens, “no,” he says.

Freddie stops, “What?” he asks.

“I just, not yet? Please?”

Freddie blinks at him before nodding, “Yeah, okay.”

“I don’t know why I started crying, I’m sorry, that’s probably so lame.”

“Oh, no” Freddie shakes his head, “it happens. Just usually not uh…”

Connor grimaces.

“No it’s not bad! It’s just I didn’t expect it to be that intense for you.” Freddie says, “But I guess you were really made for it.”

Connor flushes again but rolls his eyes.

“It’s hot, well it was once I realized I hadn’t traumatized you.”

Connor smiles at him, “not traumatized,” he confirms.

Eventually Freddie takes the cuffs off but it leaves Connor feeling floaty and a little lost. Maybe it’s a little strange but something about the cuffs felt like a hug, like Freddie could be on the other side of the room and Connor would still feel held by him. He doesn’t want them off but he can’t keep them on any longer, with the strain they’re putting on his shoulders.

He doesn’t even think about how he didn’t get Freddie off until they’re curled up in bed together again.

“It’s fine,” Freddie says when Connor whines about it.

“No it isn’t,” Connor pouts.

“We need to talk,” Freddie insists even as Connor reaches for his dick and wraps his hand around it.

“About what?” Connor asks. Freddie isn’t really hard anymore but he firms up quickly in Connor’s hand.

“About the handcuffs” Freddie says, his voice a little more tense, “what you liked about it what you d...didn’t.”

“Hmm,” Connor hums, “I liked all of it, hated none of it.”

“This is important _Connor_ ,”

Connor grins at him as his eyelids flutter closed. After Freddie fucked him up so thoroughly it’s nice to know he can still have the same effect, at least somewhat.  “Well, if it’s so important, what did you like about it?” Connor presses.

“You just want me to, ah, pump your tires.”

“You caught me.”

“I liked that I could finally get you to stop being such a little shit.”

“You said I was _perfect_.”

“Fuck.” Freddie pauses to breathe, “you are.”

Connor blinks at him before leaning forward and kissing him. Freddie grabs at him, so that Connor has to pull his hand from between them. It’s okay though because Freddie starts grinding his dick against Connor’s hip.

He cums between them soon after, his groans lost on Connor’s mouth as they kiss through it.

“Okay for real,” Freddie says, out of breath after taking a bit to calm down, “was there anything...you didn’t like? Anything you don’t want to do again.”

Connor thought about it for real that time, considering everything that happened, tried to pinpoint all the feelings that had cycled through him. The uncomfortable parts that weren’t really uncomfortable, and the exciting parts that made him feel like he was on fire.

“I didn’t like that you didn’t do more.”

“Connor…”

“I’m serious” Connor said, “I didn’t like that you seemed so nervous. I just.”

“What?”

“I trust you, you know? Like, with anything. I want you to trust yourself too.”

“Okay,” Freddie nods, serious.

“What did you like about it?” Connor asked, pressing closer.

“I just never pictured you being into it, not like that. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t so confident about it, you know? I couldn’t believe that you were reacting that way because you enjoyed it, I kept thinking I had hurt you. But god, I mean, it went better than I could have imagined.”

“Even though you freaked out.”

“Even though I freaked out,”

“We’ll get better at it” Connor promised, pressing close.

Freddie just curled his arm around Connor and pressed a kiss to his forehead. And he shouldn’t sleep too long but, maybe just, closing his eyes a little would be nice.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! please consider leaving a comment or kudos it really makes me feel better about my writing and posting it! thank you


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